What is a Spoonie?

What is a spoonie, you ask?  A spoonie is someone living with a chronic, tiring and painful illness because of the endless fatigue and lack of energy.  The word is derived from The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino. who wrote the essay to her family and friends.  You’ll find this nickname, along with others, used by many in online social media (Twitter, Facebook, forums, etc…).

  

We look normal just like any other healthy individuals who think we don't look sick. We may not handicaps, have a broken bone or visibly disabled.  That makes it difficult for "normals" to understand why we need accommodations. Although we look perfectly healthy, we may need to use a wheelchair, a cane, or other tools but most of the time we do not want to look helpless or attention-seeking. We usually push ourselves through the difficult tasks and regret soon after. That's what we are. We may be too exhausted to keep up with standard social conventions. Many invitations have been postponed or cancelled after considering the number of spoons we have used up for the day. We may have difficulty with memory, with speaking, with being able to perform efficiently at work sometimes.

If one day you see me on a public transport during peak hours and dying to get a seat or have got on the "reserved" seat, it may strike you as being lazy. We are not.  We want to work.  We want to walk without assistance, go out to the movies, wine and dine with friends and party until the wee hours. We hate to spoil the mood if needed to excuse ourselves early. We hate to go home early. So we just simply avoid it because we know we cannot.

We did not ask for this any more than someone struck with polio or cancer asked for it. We are not lacking in moral fiber. This is not a personality defect. We are, in fact, ill, even if we do not look sick. There are many more of us out there than you would believe. Most of us want our privacy about our health, the same as you. We are not always forthcoming about how much pain we are in, how weak we feel, how hard our daily lives are.

We are afraid of the stigma. We hate to hear things we do not want to hear  because those words will depress us so much that we hate ourselves more. We do not know if anybody would understand because so far none of the "normals" in my circle know what is wrong with me!