Live and Be Who You Want To Be - my experiences

Hope you guys like this new poster I made with my own picture taken at Secret Beach, Sabang, North Sumatra.

I have been waking up during the wee hours in the morning with so much in my mind that inspires me to update my blogs which I have neglected for a while.  Recently met a nice young lady and we got along fine. However, I soon realized her perceptions are not quite open yet. The advice I can give is limited to using my life experience as a living example as life cannot be taught but live to experience success and happiness, failures from mistakes or tragedy and traumas. What I am putting down here is only my personal opinion based on my life experiences. This is not a professional advice for any readers. We will begin this with what success is:

Success ... what is it to me?

It has been said many times, to many, that success is a journey and not a destination.  This is very true because many people stop moving when they achieve financial stability, wealth or status and become complacent. From the business point of view, long term stability and security is achieved through endless relationships with customers which is the journey and process. Aside from financial achievement, what else is there to achieve in order to live a fruitful and meaningful life with purpose and value that motivates you to live with happiness and contentment? That at the end of the day, when you are rich and famous but old and tired, you will ask yourself, what have you achieved in this life to feel you have done what you should have for the society or did many things which cannot be brought to the next "world" and that have to come to a stop the moment you closed you eyes forever? We fully agree that the monetary rewards for working like a dog this whole life will help our younger generation achieve their future desires but we will no longer be around to know what will happen. Do you want to be remembered or will they even remember you as the giver? Let us leave this discussion to interested parties on estate management.

Let us look at what success in my life mean. Those days, I thought I was successful because I drive a marque, live in a Orchard Road condominium, dine at restaurants and socialize with the high society, it never lasted because they come and go.  Some of the rich did not stay rich and the richer became more snobbish. My then lavish lifestyle also led to bad habits like gambling. Slowly, much of of my fortune went down the casino lane and subsequent business ventures. 

After going through financial success, failures, death of family member, tragedies, personal traumas and sickness being the latest, my perception of life changed 360 degrees at this turning point in my life (third quarter of life ... guess my age lol!). Having been through a chronic illness for a few years, the pain had me awaken to realize the real happiness of living. I was not at my death's bed but the symptoms and effects from the therapy had gotten a toll on me for a year and a half. The non-chalant attitude from others left me with nothing but disappointment and hopelessness.

All Alone ...

When I was sick, nobody really cares financially or physically. It was financially strained paying for my medical bills but all said they got no money. The only help I received was $4000, the minimal medical claim provided by my company. I was even advised to borrow from relatives. I asked myself "Am I such a bad person that did not deserved any help even from my own family? I have been the provider, driver  during the good times and even shared my marque ... ", I was devastated and frustrated but no one to talk to. I was always in all sorts of pain and allergies but nobody at home co-operated, understood or empathize. At that point, I encouraged myself to hang on until it was over. I depended on myself mentally and emotionally during this whole ordeal. At that point, I realized my life had been a failure. Nothing I had done meant anything now. Despite the marque, monetary gifts and status, it was lost and had become history. What I was yesterday was already forgotten because only what you are today matters. I told myself that throughout this ordeal, I will have to grit my teeth and not give up.

I am almost at tears writing this post, recalling the saddest part of my journey in life. But this part of the journey has brought me up to realize what real happiness is. I went to take a break. I was so tired fighting the illness, its effects and emotional strain. As I recuperate, I started to travel to North Sulawesi, Bali and especially to Banda Aceh, North Sumatra, Indonesia, I saw how difficult but simple and happy life can be and learned how the Tsunami has affected their lives and family and how unfortunate they have been, deprived of the luxuries of life, having limited resources in healthcare provision, daily needs and government support, I realized how fortunate I am living here in Singapore and still not happy. We can go through all kinds of pain but how can that be compared to the sufferings of the unfortunate? Not only did they lose their homes and property, but together with many of their loved ones. That is the trauma that could live in their hearts forever. Why are we unable to live simply and happily despite the difficulties in life and stop complaining? Why are we never contented with what we already have? 

Live Your Dreams

With my in sights to the lives of the less fortunate in Indonesia, new discovery of the magnificent underwater world with travelling becoming my passion, my perspectives of life have changed. Life can be very simple but too often our human nature complicates matters . 

My definition of happiness and success can be concluded as "Live and be who you want to be, not what others want to see". We live for ourselves and do not need the approval of others. Do what we feel is right and not against our conscience or at the expense of others. Your wealth and status may not bring you happiness. Good looks and youth wither as we grow older but the joy and fulfillment in us last for as long as we live, the choice is ours. 

If you do see the unfortunate with your own eyes, are you willing to offer help besides monetary gifts? Have a dream and live to fulfill it, do for yourself whatever that makes you happy and a life fulfilled. For my life, I will not stop continuing my dream for exploring the underwater world and travelling to support the less fortunate diving destinations. If my obligations have been met, I would volunteer in remote locations. The most important will be to appreciate and take care of my parents. With this simpler goals, in life, I will be a happier person. Life is less complicated and the world a better place to live in. What more could I ask for in this life?