Be Gentle with Yourself

from the 1927 prose poem  Desiderata (Latin: “desired things”) by Max Ehrmann

in full:

Desiderata 

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. 

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. 

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. 

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. 

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. 

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann

Since yesterday, I have been feeling lots of resentment triggered emotionally by the news that I will be posted to work at the head office. I could visualize myself vanishing from my present comfort zone and stepping into a furnace and burned to death. To eliminate feelings of resentment or anger, I will start searching for motivational and inspirational quotes to remind myself that life is short, the time spent getting angry or resentful about things is time squandered. Be mindful and do something to remove myself from it. 

I kept reading different quotes from Helen Keller, Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, C.S.Lewis and many more. Not only was I reminded to make peace from within, also refreshes my mind to be grateful for what I have that I know how to be a happy person living in this beautiful world. When I came across this quote "Be Gentle with Yourself" by Max Ehrmann, the simplified version from the original poem of "Desiderata", I felt the sudden awakening from deepen guilt inside to praying for forgiveness and peace.  I am thankful to God for his guidance and acceptance ... I found peace and love that I want to share it with people around me.

Feeling Insecured ...

Yesterday, received news were distorted from what was relayed previously. We were told that we will move to our new plant but now it will not be materialized. Instructions given by the accounts department to cut costs and have us moved in back to our head office at Tuas. But that was not where I started this job. I calculated the travelling time may be around two and a half hours each way. That will mean I have to get up by 5 a.m. to reach the office at 8.30 a.m. and will reach home at about 8.30 p.m. every night. That will leave me with no time even to breathe or digest my dinner. This precarious move may cause health deterioration and advanced aging which after serious thoughts, I will persist not to make this move until the company terminate my employment. 

Selfish Bosses

Bad luck working with incompetent people Not only that, an out and out jerk with personality flaws, incompetent, insensitive, irresponsible and ignorant yet not resourceful. When faced with problems, he will push the blame on us. When comes to credit, they take them all. Now they are sitting safely on their new position and here we are, unwanted and outcast without a future in a big and established organization. 

Needless to say, no assistance provided for insufficient manpower until the last minute but expects project to be completed at the same with a pair of hands with a two weeks' deadline. Obviously, he will not bear responsibility but let the staff be the scapegoat instead.

Bad luck having such idiot around caring only for his own selfish gains and protect his own ass. I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do ...

Time to move on

I have updated my resume and will try to send out some applications. However, on second thoughts, if I am sufficiently compensated I could still cope taking one or two months' break before moving on to the next job. Should I take the Divemaster course? but where should I go? Nearest to home is Tioman but closed for the monsoon season. Pulau Weh is a nice and cheap to stay but there is a need for transfer and only one flight per day. Many of the pros did their course in the Philippines which is also a nice and cheap place to stay. Hope someone can enlighten me soon or I will continue to seek help with Google.

Suddenly, I felt financially unstable after having plans to set up my new camera rig with strobes and accessories, get a new mobile phone, do up my hair etc, being the sole breadwinner now makes me feel even more frustrated.

What should I do?

With much thoughts and uncertainty on my mind, I could not do much at work today. I still cannot accept the fact of leaving this company. Why should I leave because of the selfish decision of the supervisors? But if I am well compensated, I could take a long break and then look for a new job ... But at my age, how many interviews do I need before I get hired by someone? That is another problem ... age! I am worrying about the balance loan repayment for my home ... if I could not find a job, what should I do?