Week 11:
It's been 10 weeks and I was amazed at how I made it through. I have been feeling sick and tired, walking around like a zombie and working as usual! I guess I'd done a good job .. faking it. I think I deserve a medal for it ... lol. In this instance, I have been positive. Maybe some people think I still looked good! But with some others whom we meet everyday there wouldn't be any significant changes in their eyes. They normally classify people with a chunk of gray hair as getting older.
On the negative, I was wishing that this nightmare could be over soon because it's too stressful and tiring. Just too tired ... rushing everyday, rushing to be on time for work, rushing home to lay down, did I forget my pills? did I left them at home? what if I skip a dose? When platelets at the 100s, neuts at 0.8, WBC 2.0 .. had better cover my mouth in crowded places, not forgetting the hand sanitiser, wash my hands every time I touched something and ensure the office sprayed with air sanitiser. When someone coughs I'd better hold my breath. Worried - when I could not read the signboards, bus numbers, words on my computer. Stressed - mind go blank when I need to make a decision or plan. Did I make a mistake on this document? calculated, checked and checked again but still worried. did I forget or missed something? Have I spoken about this before? Will HR have me transferred? Ran out of G-series, should I stick to water instead? Did I drink enough water today? Can I skip my next meal because everything taste yikes? No salt, no MSG and no chilly please? What to say to mum if she asked how I was doing?
On the negative, I was wishing that this nightmare could be over soon because it's too stressful and tiring. Just too tired ... rushing everyday, rushing to be on time for work, rushing home to lay down, did I forget my pills? did I left them at home? what if I skip a dose? When platelets at the 100s, neuts at 0.8, WBC 2.0 .. had better cover my mouth in crowded places, not forgetting the hand sanitiser, wash my hands every time I touched something and ensure the office sprayed with air sanitiser. When someone coughs I'd better hold my breath. Worried - when I could not read the signboards, bus numbers, words on my computer. Stressed - mind go blank when I need to make a decision or plan. Did I make a mistake on this document? calculated, checked and checked again but still worried. did I forget or missed something? Have I spoken about this before? Will HR have me transferred? Ran out of G-series, should I stick to water instead? Did I drink enough water today? Can I skip my next meal because everything taste yikes? No salt, no MSG and no chilly please? What to say to mum if she asked how I was doing?
That, which does not kill me, makes me stronger.”
– Unknown
Looks can't hide from my own eyes though especially when I look closer into the mirror. I was definite that I look terrible because that's how I feel! But I somehow tried to hide and strike a balance with looking sick and feeling sick:
- feel sick inside but by wearing a smile you can hide everything (a smile makes us beautiful)
- look sick outside but start a conversation with an interesting topic (divert attention)
The saddest part now at this juncture is that nobody at work has ever asked "how's your treatment going?" or "how are you coping?" They probably know but couldn't care less. They probably don't understand the kind of therapy I'm on. People may be so ignorant on the medical point of view. All they know is that medication makes you feel better. Some people don't even complete their course of antibiotics when they caught a flu. Notwithstanding the fact that there are medications that makes you more sick than ever and causes allergy reaction. Most people may be warned before taking any medication but none ever returned with any allergy. So people may think that I may have severe allergy problems or simply sensitive. If someone wishes to know, it will be difficult to explain to them that there is a long list of commonly experienced side effects. But I don't think anyone would ever be interested.
If I were to tell anyone about the pain and discomfort during this period of therapy, will they ever believed me? They may even say "but you look good!" or "but you don't look sick". Don't they noticed that there's something wrong with my eyes having to strain all the time? Don't they find it strange I drank too much water? Guess people do not understand what is dehydration. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and trying to stay hydrated all day. Sometimes when I said I was too tired to follow them walk up an down 3 floors I really meant it. Legs would go weak and wobbly, tight chested and short of breath. Most of the day I'd walk like I have a heavy body.
How I wished our government implement some type of medical leave for people doing therapy, could just stay at home on some days until I look better and the rash on my face clears. In Singapore, we are entitled to 7 to 14 days of medical leave. To date I have a remaining balance of 9 days. But it is not enough to cover my 6 months therapy. So I just need to bear with it and only use it when I really couldn't take it.
I also wished if I could go to work as and when I wish and I feel my body is ready, I could lie down with eyes closed whenever I think it's time. Eyes are tired and droopy, dry, burning and irritating.
Couldn't wait to see my doctor next Tuesday (his clinic day) for some medication for my rash. It has been almost two weeks of profuse scratching .. eyes, earlobes, blotchy face, skin peeling (especially forehead). Blurry vision, light, sun and noise sensitive, sleepless nights, sore tongue, sore throat, loss my taste buds and appetite, brain fog and dizziness/floating have been ongoing since week 8. Being Neutropenic and low in WBC (White Blood Cells) also invited some infections. Just completed my second course of antibiotics for eye and ear infections, still feeling the pain inside my ears and lots of bumps and hills behind my neck .. lymph glands and lymph nodes were swollen!
How I wished our government implement some type of medical leave for people doing therapy, could just stay at home on some days until I look better and the rash on my face clears. In Singapore, we are entitled to 7 to 14 days of medical leave. To date I have a remaining balance of 9 days. But it is not enough to cover my 6 months therapy. So I just need to bear with it and only use it when I really couldn't take it.
I also wished if I could go to work as and when I wish and I feel my body is ready, I could lie down with eyes closed whenever I think it's time. Eyes are tired and droopy, dry, burning and irritating.
Couldn't wait to see my doctor next Tuesday (his clinic day) for some medication for my rash. It has been almost two weeks of profuse scratching .. eyes, earlobes, blotchy face, skin peeling (especially forehead). Blurry vision, light, sun and noise sensitive, sleepless nights, sore tongue, sore throat, loss my taste buds and appetite, brain fog and dizziness/floating have been ongoing since week 8. Being Neutropenic and low in WBC (White Blood Cells) also invited some infections. Just completed my second course of antibiotics for eye and ear infections, still feeling the pain inside my ears and lots of bumps and hills behind my neck .. lymph glands and lymph nodes were swollen!
Riba Rash
I've been warned to stay out of the sun because Ribavirin (Riba) causes a long list of side effects including sun sensitivity. Thought I'd reminded myself many times that it's better to be safe than sorry. My colleagues and myself have been taking a ten minutes walk to the nearby canteen for lunch when twice happened my face and neck got so red and blotchy. Just days ago we had a "Seventh month" praying ceremony outside the building and I quickly ran back after my face felt burned and itchy. But I remained stubborn since most of the time I don't see much reaction from the sun except for getting sweaty and tired.
Lesson learned: extra sun block or stay indoors!
I hate the chills and shivers especially in the middle of the night. But when I take my temperature, it is always within normal range of low grade fever which means I was not sick at all but just feel sick! I wake up every night with cold sweats and drenched wet and after that I couldn't go back to sleep. Many sleepless nights have passed but those were the best ties when I could do some editing on my blogs. But most nights I could hardly think or see with teary and blurry eyes. When I get home from work, all I wanted is to hide one corner alone and just BREATHE. All my weekends were unproductive and flew too quickly because I just lazed around. I needed the rest I've been deprived, glad I could just sit and do nothing, think of nothing and stare blankly at the computer screen with either my blog or HCV support index page.
Since my 7th week, I would sleep for about an hour then stay awake for 3 hours. However, I was glad to be able to manage to catch up with 6 hours sleep on Friday nights. The rest of the weekdays having only 3 or 4 hours sleep. Some weekends, I would sleep late to avoid waking up in the middle of the night, slept past my regular hours and almost missed my morning Ribas. So I would take it without breakfast and got nauseous.
Mirror mirror on the wall
I've hesitated from staring at the mirror. I've been avoiding it so to speak. Because I know jolly well that I looked like crap and that is exactly how I feel. I have yet to take a good look at my face lately. My office neighbor reminded me when she asked if I was sick because I'd shrink! I've lost almost 3 kg and already out of proportioned, face flat and lean, smaller eyes and bigger nose!
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| 10th Week on HCV Therapy |
This has not been a good week. I had more chills, shivers and sweats compared with the past weeks. I am more tired and the pain meds seemed to have stopped working. The agony of having a toothache all over is back. The muscles on my shoulders, neck and back were sore and painful, fibre on chest walls acted up like having a cardiac arrest, knees and ankle joints felt swollen and all the bones felt bruised. The pain aids I started since 8th week have helped tremendously, for without it, I could never be able to function without Pregabalin, my "miracle pill". I would rather trade off with doctors' fees, none whom could ever help me or supplements which seemed to have leaked out from my system.
With the help of anti-histamines, my face has been less itchy for a while except for the forehead which persisted, the same areas have become more dry and scaly. It's still not manageable. Went to the hospital to have my PCR today and got some EGO products to deal with the dry skin. The exciting times being on treatment is taking the viral load test and waiting for the results of UNDETECTED. My last waiting was full of nervousness and anger when my doctor reduced my dose for a week. This time of waiting is solely anticipation for another happy moment to be "UND" at 12th week which is predictive of the outcome of treatment - Sustained Virological Response (SVR).
Some say during this second half part of treatment we will be affected more on the mental side than the physical sides. Today I can only say that the physical sides have not reduced, not feeling better though. Still getting the dagger-stabbing my shoulders, weird bone pains, tired and "floating" all the time.
On the mental side, I have mild mood swings. Sometimes I may feel sad but may laugh at the slightest joke, sometimes positive and then negative at the next moment, depressed, irritated by anything .. itchiness, mood, negative thoughts, noise, light, heat and worse of all, rude and loud people. There were some frightening times when I felt dissociated with the rest of the world. I pulled myself back and told myself I still have friends on the Hep community. There are people who experienced more serious side effects than me and struggling even to get out of the house or just to the store. That is why they call this a roller-coaster ride. I have learned to be more positive as I go along. I always remember these saying whenever I falter as I continue fighting on this 24-weeks journey:
"When the going gets tough, the tough gets going"
All in all, I have come to terms with the cumulative effects of this therapy and walking hand in hand to the finish line. I have not had severe side effects that require immediate medical attention, my lab works have been stable, side effects are considered moderate though it's not a walk in the park. At this point I feel somewhat fortunate to be able to get up everyday strong enough to fight the battle. This journey have been an introspection, a reflection and realization of inner strength. A self-discovery of the HERO that emerged from the intrinsic me. The hero who will continue to fight, no matter how tired or how tough it is, is to simply get through each day just by doing it ...
WEEK 13:
It's Sunday, the 3rd day of my 13th shot. I'd brought forward my shot 2 days from the usual Mondays. Last 2 shots been having chills and shivers on the 2nd day so now I could get sick in the comfort of my home but it's 2 pm and still no sign of chills yet. Not sure if this is the reason why I am having some new joint pain on my knees and ankles. The side effects started on different days each week. Changing shot days didn't seem to help either. Whatever it is, all I am trying is hoping to minimize the unpleasantness while at work and not missed a day.
Weather is cool and such a fine day for some housework that I've missed last week. Not that I was lazy, but my body was too achy and tired. If I managed to vacuum 3 rooms and ironed 6 pieces of clothes which is considered an achievement to me. It's been a good Sunday, relaxed and no brain fog. I managed to recall some details of my past weeks' treatment experience to update my blog. As I was relating, I felt that I have indeed come a long way. The last 3 months seemed like 3 years. The next 3 months now seems forever!
This treatment has taught me tenacity, endurance and perseverance. To be able to function on my own without affecting or imposing on others convenience. I tolerated the discomfort and never failed my employers. I have done my best. I could put the pain aside and complete my work. I do not groan and moan like I used to. I've stopped mourning for the loss of good health or weep in silence. I have stopped complaining. I have learned to stop fighting the pain but to make it my companion. I have never given up. I will keep up the good fight because I want to be the eventual WINNER. In this battle of coping with Fibromyalgia, HepC and its treatment side effects, I have learned to embrace my pain and dance in the rain. Ouch!
It's Thursday and tomorrow is shot day again. Another week has passed. Each week certainly flies and before I even realized it, I've completed half of the treatment and feeling so close to the finish line. The rash on my face looked slightly improved but those on the legs persisted. However, I started scratching on a new site, my injection areas around my belly. Chills and shivers have been inconsistent, always on different days. Fortunate me, no fever except for some low-grade ones since last 3 weeks and hope for no more fever in this life. I am considered lucky to be responding well to this treatment and tolerated the medications pretty well. Sides have been moderate and managing so far.
It's Thursday and tomorrow is shot day again. Another week has passed. Each week certainly flies and before I even realized it, I've completed half of the treatment and feeling so close to the finish line. The rash on my face looked slightly improved but those on the legs persisted. However, I started scratching on a new site, my injection areas around my belly. Chills and shivers have been inconsistent, always on different days. Fortunate me, no fever except for some low-grade ones since last 3 weeks and hope for no more fever in this life. I am considered lucky to be responding well to this treatment and tolerated the medications pretty well. Sides have been moderate and managing so far.
This past week I felt more irritated. Not only the rash that's bothering me, every little thing that didn't seem pleasing to my eyes and ears simply made me feel like blowing up. When someone didn't co-operate with simple tasks or caused others inconvenience, I would lose control of myself and started screaming (nag loudly). I would nag at the slightest untidiness whether be it at home or in the office. So it was just mood swings, irritation without hard feelings, and thanks to Ribavirin. I reckon it should be safe if I do not have any signs of violence or rage, at least for the moment I did not need medical attention. Let's see if it happens in my next few weeks on treatment.
Woke up after sweaty night as usual, 4 hours' sleep again. Had a long and stressful day at work. I almost forgot to take my morning Riba again. I hate taking meds regularly and still not gotten used to it (after 3+ months!). I need to keep up with the timings and stressed up if I remembered to take or not. Went out for lunch and came back with a bad rash on my face again! The Ribas are bringing me up and down - making me happy and sad.
Just postponed my dermatology appointment to next month. And I've postponed several others. I'd avoid as much as possible as situation was getting tough having to pay for the weekly "poison". Since nothing major bothered me, everything should get better soon. I'll gotta hang in there! Well, tonight will be shot 14 ... yeah! 10 more shots and I'm done!
WEEK 14:Just postponed my dermatology appointment to next month. And I've postponed several others. I'd avoid as much as possible as situation was getting tough having to pay for the weekly "poison". Since nothing major bothered me, everything should get better soon. I'll gotta hang in there! Well, tonight will be shot 14 ... yeah! 10 more shots and I'm done!
It's the 3rd day after my 14th shot, a hot and humid Sunday. Hardly able to sober up from the anti-histamines taken at 3 am. Skin has gotten worse. I used a magnifying mirror and checked my face. OMG! Some extra clots and bumps on my face and forehead! It must be the fault of the EGO day/night creams. One grave mistake I made, tried to squeeze something out of the bumps, which were not open pores! Ended up inflamed and ugly like chicken pox. The rash on the legs seemed to have subsided. Applied the cream, took anti-histamines and hoping to go back to sleep but was awaken too soon and started scratching profusely until it bled, but it felt good.
Felt a swollen and painful stye in my right eye again, for the second time during this treatment. Do I need antibiotics again? Will see my doctor in 2 days' time for the results of my routine blood work and 12th week PCR ... and YES, I will be UNDETECTED for sure! I already know the outcome but it's still exhilarating to be excited about it.
Did my usual weekend chores, ironed 6 pieces clothing, vacuumed and managed to mop only 1 bedroom and living room. It was tough but yet I pushed through.
The first day of the week has been stressful and more widespread pain than usual. Haven't been busy for a while since we moved to the new office. Few guys have left and I had to cover their duties. Mood is bad because workload have started piling up. I need to put in extra effort in order to focus and meet up to expectations. My achievement so far - if I keep moving, I feel less pain, stop focusing on the sides and get things done.
Bad news is WBC has dropped, that's the reason for getting a stye and a small cellulitis. Neutrophils and RBCs much lowered but still within the "normal" range so it's not time for rescue meds yet. Just bear in mind to practice extra caution in public areas. I still don't know why am I still so tired. My RBCs though at 11, is not considered low or anemic. My thyroid is normal and no other suspicions.
This time my Hep doctor addressed my issues well because rashes are visible. He only believes and treats what he can see superficially then refer to another specialist for follow-up. If he doesn't see what your complaints are, on blood tests results or visible physical symptoms, he'll consider muscle aches or painful joints as "it's all in your head" or he would just attribute it to "treatment-induced". So are most of the doctors' common advice: "it shall soon pass". He said style is part of ezcema I was having on the face but I always thought styes are bacteria infection of the glands on the eyelids? Also not specifically addressed were the little bumps along with the forehead rash and swollen lymph nodes and glands on my neck Will see how it goes with the Dermatologist on Friday.
By the time I finished my packed lunch at the office, the dark cloud name fatigue overshadowed me. I wanted to write a simple memo but mind just went blank. Felt heavy and achy all over just like having an onset of fever. Upper chest walls and back tighten and short of breath. I'd tell myself that it's only another fibro flare and nothing is wrong with my respiratory system. Legs were wobbly and weak I could't even stand upright!
Whenever I'm on a flare I would be full of resentment and have a little pity party. Why is it so unfair? I am sick yet nobody treats me like a sick person. Nobody ever said "you don't need to do this or that .. please have a break". I guess I was yearning for some concern and attention though. But instead of getting leeway, I got even more work including manual work with no assistance provided. Our company had 6 other strong young men who did nothing to help. My backache and fibro pain had since got to an intolerable level and needed to medicate on a daily basis. Did no one know that I am on anti-viral chemotherapy? Didn't they know that I was going through the debilitating effects and struggling to even get through the day? The side effects are affecting me physically more than mentally. Nobody understands or even want to understand.
Thank goodness I had been offered a ride to somewhere near my place. I need to walk 3 blocks from the main road, but halfway through, legs went weak and needed to take a break. I have given up trying to climb the overhead bridge anymore because I just couldn't. I should have bought dinner along the way but I only had enough stamina to go straight home, shower and slagged on couch. 30 minutes later mum offered to pack dinner instead. Thank God I had another break and thank God for mum. Even before the end of my 24-weeks ride, I am already so grateful to the only person in my life who supported me. I want to thank God for giving me the BEST mum! I slept early but woke up shortly, sweating profusely again ... it's only 11.30 pm and end up updating my blog.
It's almost the end of the 14th week. Pain is reduced except for some intermittent neuropathy, joints and a new foot pain. No chills or shivers .. hope it stays this way. This whole week's been too stressed up by work. Tired and moody. Felt like venting but didn't have the strength to do so. I just wanted to sleep and sleep and stay asleep.
It's Friday. Went to the Dermatologist this morning and received a new diagnosis. The darn dragon is starting its own family inside so ... when will it stop? With ongoing therapy, viral replication has stopped but instead my immune system has gone out of whack! I have gotten extra-hepatic manifestations from Hep C namely, Fibromyalgia, Raynaud's Phenomenon, Livedo Reticularis and now Cutaneous Vasculitis. Disappointed and discouraged, I was in cloud nine for a while and had a solemn Subway lunch alone. Doctor said my rash can only be controlled by steroids and wanted to put me on it after speaking to my Hep doctor. No wonder why I was not responding to anti-histamines.
Now I'm worried the nurse would be calling soon to get me to see the doctor. I am not prepared to face it, I do not want to stop my HepC treatment. As Interferon interacts with steroid, I may be offered the option to stop treatment or undertake the risks of internal inflammation. No way! I'm not going to stop now that I'm so close to the finish line. I have only 10 weeks left and I will definitely fight for my right to complete this one before starting the other conditions. My liver is the priority. I have made it this far, and if I keep going a little longer, I will see the sun rise on a beautiful day.
The increased workload almost drove crazy this last week. I believe I could fare much better if I did't work. During the weekends, I would sleep to compensate for the losses for the week. I definitely feel better, less stressed and more relaxed. When at work, I feel more sick, dizzy, dehydrated, more aches and pains. On the contrary, if I don't work I would be lazing around listening to my body and focusing too much on the side effects. Inactivity also cause muscle loss and stamina. More time will be required to recuperate and regain back the energy.
Took my 15th shot. The rash on my belly have grown. Will my next injection invite an infection? (Another worry). The first day applying the Elomet cream didn't seem to work for my forehead though the Fucicort cream did well for the ankles. This treatment has given me never ending worries and disappointment. Will these side effects become the long lasting ramnification of treatment? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
WEEK 15:
I woke up this Saturday past my medication time. Though slept late, at least finally caught up with some quality sleep in a week. Had a sip of coffee and down goes the Riba! Hitting the virus is more important than feeling nauseous or vomit. The morning fatigue faded off after 2 hours. Lots of memories of the past weeks came back and wild thoughts about the recent diagnosis. I still didn't see any improvement on my forehead's rash but my stye had dried up. I've lost a few eye lashes though and wonder if it ever grow back.
This Sunday's weather is humid and warm, a bad day, I felt crappy. More achy and tired today with the irritating rash. Eyes are droopy and tired. Spend the morning staring at the mirror and feeling depressed. The whole afternoon was so sleepy, tried to nap, managed to fall asleep but got woken up too soon for a late lunch. I felt so drained today just like I'd did a whole day's housework but in actual fact, only vacuumed my room. Laid down for a while and then reluctantly ironed 4 pieces of clothes for the next work week.
My right earlobe is swollen again, sensitive and painful. Still couldn't understand why it kept recurring. First was my left ear, then right and now the left. Regarding my latest diagnosis, I did researched on Hypersensitivity Vasculitis which is inflammation of the small blood vessels. Some of the symptoms include joint pain and swollen lymph nodes on neck which matches mine. It may or may not be involved internal organs but to treat with Prednisone is not recommended if it's not serious. This is because of the side effects such as bloating, hair loss and bone loss. I am against the idea too.
This Sunday's weather is humid and warm, a bad day, I felt crappy. More achy and tired today with the irritating rash. Eyes are droopy and tired. Spend the morning staring at the mirror and feeling depressed. The whole afternoon was so sleepy, tried to nap, managed to fall asleep but got woken up too soon for a late lunch. I felt so drained today just like I'd did a whole day's housework but in actual fact, only vacuumed my room. Laid down for a while and then reluctantly ironed 4 pieces of clothes for the next work week.
My right earlobe is swollen again, sensitive and painful. Still couldn't understand why it kept recurring. First was my left ear, then right and now the left. Regarding my latest diagnosis, I did researched on Hypersensitivity Vasculitis which is inflammation of the small blood vessels. Some of the symptoms include joint pain and swollen lymph nodes on neck which matches mine. It may or may not be involved internal organs but to treat with Prednisone is not recommended if it's not serious. This is because of the side effects such as bloating, hair loss and bone loss. I am against the idea too.
It's the first day of the work week again and I'm already feeling drained, just like Thursdays when I would usually feel dropped dead before the weekends. Today I felt breathless easily just by walking a little faster.
My labs are stable so it's temporary for just these 2 days, it will go away. Tomorrow may be my pain-free day and may even feel energized. Despite having much positiveness, l cannot control my mood swings. I chose to isolate ad avoided the less-likable people. I think it's unfair and hate to vent especially on bystanders. Stress, breathlessness and pain got me passed the second day of the work week. Got an sudden onset of temperature closer to the end of the day, chills and extreme fatigue. It was a bad day. Some healthy and normal person around me was complaining that he's tired and I replied saying that I am sick yet not at all complaining. Then he passed a sarcastic remark "so are the sick the greatest?" My self-esteem was challenged, extremely hurt and disappointed at this personal attack. What a selfish and uncompassionate world! I swear my generosity and magnanimous nature shall vanish from now on. A valuable lesson learned when you're sick, you discover the hypocrisy inside people you once thought were so-called "friends" or colleagues.
I just want him out of my office, no more messing up the place, no more busting in and out, no more listening to "I'm (more) tired (than you)" and just LEAVE ME ALONE. I do not need such people around who are abusive, abrasive and insensitive.
Having a tension headache, pain and fever as I was laying in bed and updating my day's events. Just hoping tonight is different, let me have an extra hour's sleep and wake up to another brand new day as I continue my battle. Three more days to go for my 16th shot and countdown from 8, 2 more months of endurance!
Having a tension headache, pain and fever as I was laying in bed and updating my day's events. Just hoping tonight is different, let me have an extra hour's sleep and wake up to another brand new day as I continue my battle. Three more days to go for my 16th shot and countdown from 8, 2 more months of endurance!
“The ultimate measure of a man is
not where he stands in moments
of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of
challenge and controversy.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
WEEK 16:
Generally, things have improved and the skin being the mirror of our health always has its priority (for women). Most part of the face has improved except for a stubborn lesion on the forehead that refuses to heal. The layer of dry skin on the eyelids have also cleared. Eyes don't feel burned yet still dry but tolerable, less chills and fever. Somehow the neuropathy and fatigue seems to be everlasting and debilitating, sometimes it's confusing because I tried to put the blame somewhere. There must be a cause for anything. Is it work stress, low Haemoglobin, fibro, Interferon or something else?
I slept 6 hours on Friday night and felt so exhausted by about 11 am. Didn't do much, just meddling with my blog as usual. Couldn't focus on much posts reading so just stared blankly trying to compromise. Just read up and found out that the post nasal drip these days actually caused the blockage of the eustachian tube and ear infection. And these are the symptoms of Fibromyalgia! In this therapy, all your existing conditions are amplified. In my case with Fibromyalgia, the aches got more intense, symptoms that didn't appear before start showing and getting more of them
I was so lazy this Sunday, weather hot and humid, dragged my feet to the store, carried 3 litres of 100+ (an isotonic drink) and almost broke my back! Nope, not the bones but too much pressure on the facet joints causing the nerves all over my back to hurt. And so much has not been done yet ... ironing, vacuum and clean my fan. The weather suddenly took a change ... a heavy downpour, temperature's down and felt so blessed .. it's going to be a pain-free day!
The beginning of another work week, my 16th week on HepC therapy. Whenever I finish my shot, I would feel so relieved ... one more down. But I wished I could finish them all at one go. Despite having the killer-pain on my bones and nerves, I could still smile to myself. I'm going to laugh within from now on ('cos there's no one to share this joy with) ... yippie! only 8 more weeks to go! I recall how I started crawling into the "tunnel", got kicked from 7th week, struggled to find the light, couldn't see the horizon and didn't realize that time went by so quickly. From today on I'm left with 8 swords to kill that friggin' virus and hang up that dragon's head!
So my world is evolved around treatment as priority. Whenever I get a new side effect I will google and make sure it's not something to be excited about because too many strange sides been happening from this treatment. I needed to focus on my battle, for now. Blogging is next in line because this unforgettable journey happens only once in my lifetime. It will not only be a diary filled with unpleasant side effects but also the many valuable lessons learned throughout this 24 weeks.
I felt a lot of "funny bones" feelings on my arms, wrists and it hurts when touched and numbed when it's not moving. That's how it feels having neuropathy. All these weird pain disappeared the day before my next shot and hope it doesn't come back. But my mid back hurt too much this week. Then it's time for my 17th shot. 7 to go!
WEEK 17:
This last week has been more on the morning fatigue that almost prevented me from getting off to work. Some mid-day exhaustion and the sharp pains on the muscles. No weird pains. Even managed one day without eye drops .. that was amazing! It didn't feel good on the eyes but could still do without it, for the first time in the last 4 months. I started drinking a bottle of G-series everyday which I found it at the 24-hr store. Could this drink have done the trick?
The rash on my face have almost completely cleared. One thing that never go away is the rash on my ankle and even spread to the other side and above knees and hips. Itchy scalp, dandruff and a bad lesion is the main issue now. It's so tender and painful I couldn't finger scrub with shampoo. So it's Vasculitis .. like what the doctors suspected and it comes and goes ...
Said it too soon. The side effects only took a week off. Few days later those that seemed to have cleared last week came back. Rashes everywhere, sinus, stuffy nose, post nasal drip, itchy scalp, dandruff, dry skin all over and the worst thing is, my mood swinging away.
Shot 18 and 6 more ... WAY TO GO girl!!!
WEEK 18:
This past week wasn't much of a surprise. No chills or fever. Weather has changed, much cooler. That helped on the night sweats and the oily and sweaty scalp recently developed. No improvement on the body rash and itchiness. The morning fatigue, stiffness and backache seemed to be getting more crippling. Even with much relaxed daily activities and work stress, I felt achy as ever.
My noise-sensitivity levels had gone up, so is my patience. The contractors knocking and drilling almost drove me crazy. The painters were painting the walls on top of our Gibson board-made office, jumping away on top of my roof. The whole week the tension headaches felt like it's going to explode anytime. Without hesitation I went straight to the contractors and gave them a piece of my mind. My mood swings were jumping up and down.
On the other hand, I was trying to shirk any responsibility that's out of my scope. I was too stressed with work. Managing the operations which is totally out of my scope and not included in my salary. Why should I continue to put in the extra effort with my current medical condition and the physical damage done? As I reflect, I overdid even over the past 2 years in this firm. Now, I'm totally out of scope. I regret doing the relocation and packing all by myself. I was stupid and such a fool because nobody recognized the efforts I put in. Because I was too easy going, it caused a permanent damage to my facet joints. I will know the results of my MRI done for my lower back L5/S1 on 29 October and then will submit to HR to make my stand to refuse future manual tasks. No more lifting, stretching or bending.
When you have HCV and a damaged liver, your whole body is weakened. Not only the gastrointestinal issues that needed attention, the bones and joints are also prone to injury, skin manifestations may arise and cognitive ability is impaired. With the on-going therapy and its side effects, the immune system get ramp up and out-of-whack.
Saw the Dermatologist and got nothing out of the appointment except for a cream. He said "the skin is reacting to Hepatitis C" and he can't start me on any treatment because of Hepatitis C. What rubbish! Another inattentive doctor who has zero knowledge on infectious disease, doesn't listen to their patients when I refused the hydroxyzine tablets which didn't prove effective before and ignored my request for a dandruff shampoo. Should I go back in a month's time but I think better save the doctor's fees for an extra cream and a box of eye drops which will be more worth my money spent.
WEEK 19:
My noise-sensitivity levels had gone up, so is my patience. The contractors knocking and drilling almost drove me crazy. The painters were painting the walls on top of our Gibson board-made office, jumping away on top of my roof. The whole week the tension headaches felt like it's going to explode anytime. Without hesitation I went straight to the contractors and gave them a piece of my mind. My mood swings were jumping up and down.
On the other hand, I was trying to shirk any responsibility that's out of my scope. I was too stressed with work. Managing the operations which is totally out of my scope and not included in my salary. Why should I continue to put in the extra effort with my current medical condition and the physical damage done? As I reflect, I overdid even over the past 2 years in this firm. Now, I'm totally out of scope. I regret doing the relocation and packing all by myself. I was stupid and such a fool because nobody recognized the efforts I put in. Because I was too easy going, it caused a permanent damage to my facet joints. I will know the results of my MRI done for my lower back L5/S1 on 29 October and then will submit to HR to make my stand to refuse future manual tasks. No more lifting, stretching or bending.
When you have HCV and a damaged liver, your whole body is weakened. Not only the gastrointestinal issues that needed attention, the bones and joints are also prone to injury, skin manifestations may arise and cognitive ability is impaired. With the on-going therapy and its side effects, the immune system get ramp up and out-of-whack.
Saw the Dermatologist and got nothing out of the appointment except for a cream. He said "the skin is reacting to Hepatitis C" and he can't start me on any treatment because of Hepatitis C. What rubbish! Another inattentive doctor who has zero knowledge on infectious disease, doesn't listen to their patients when I refused the hydroxyzine tablets which didn't prove effective before and ignored my request for a dandruff shampoo. Should I go back in a month's time but I think better save the doctor's fees for an extra cream and a box of eye drops which will be more worth my money spent.
WEEK 19:
To me, it has been a full week of irritation. I was angry, impatient, agitated, moody and simply lousy. I have been screaming, nagging and picking even on minor issues. I felt my mind being out of control and relinquished to the higher power of medications. Coupled with work stress and dissatisfaction, I was total crap! I felt I could even kill ... maybe a lizard or a cockroach. Losing too much hair now ... 10 times more compare to first week on therapy. I could make a wig. I felt like screaming my lungs out.
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