The beginning

I couldn't recall exactly when it started but after being diagnosed, looking back I would have been malaise for a long time then, but had dismissed it to the fact that it's age-related. One morning, I woke up with extreme fatigue, it felt like I had been ran over by a truck and stiffness all over and thought I've become 100 years old overnight!  During that time before I found out about Fibromyalgia (FMS), I had always attributed it to Hepatitis C (HCV). However, statistics and research have published that most cases of Hepatitis C (HCV) are asymptomatic, exceptional being those having late stage liver disease or cirrhosis. Not long after, after extensive research, discovered HealingWell, an awesome US site where you meet, share and interact with fellow "fibromites". There are so many suffering with more debilitating symptoms. From here, I have learned there is a long list of Fibro symptoms where I found myself there.

Besides having widespread muscle aches and stiffness, the intense fatigue is worst every morning that my morning prayer used to be: "Lord, please just let me sleep forever than to suffer this way everyday.". However, it gets better gradually by late morning, sometimes during mid-day if work has been stressful and in the evening when its time to knock off.

It became my main excuse of isolation, indulgence in occasional pity party and depression. I have rejected all invitations for any leisure activities during after-hours. I have become a Spoonie. I have to count the number of spoons I have for the day, one for each activity or destination.  But I'd really loved to attend all those functions, parties, wine and dine etc. I've always enjoyed the aroma of the French Merlot and a Cuban cigar to blend into and of course, LIFE.

The lack of concentration and brain fog has been bugging me. I started getting so forgetful that it becomes embarrassing especially during the course of my duties and interaction with friends and colleagues. The short-term memory loss worries me.

Why is FMS so debilitating? It is not a disease that shows up on blood tests, joints feels swollen but nobody can see it, feeling bruised all over but its not, feeling sleepy but can't fall asleep and waking up 5 times a night and finally stay awake counting sheep. FMS does not cause any damage to the organs. Even the cause is still unknown, there is ongoing controversy among researches and the medical community. What I've learned so far is that the pain receptors have gone haywire, sending the wrong signals to the wrong place. So it's got something to do with the brain and the central nervous system.